BC 5/99

Wink to Wedding Timeline {Leave...cleave...one flesh}

First figure out the timeline functions, then the appropriate forms of Biblically expressing the functions. 

Mirror God's self-sacrificial, other centered love for an eternal objective.

I. Commitment to Christlikeness

Purity and Spousability Growth (able to fulfill the requirements of a spouse)

A. Don't awaken love until the appropriate time (Song of Solomon 3:5).

B. Don't train yourself into something that is not good for you (1 Th 5:22, 1 Pe 2:11).

C. Don't defraud (1 Th 4:1-9, 1 Cor 7:1)

II. Contact

Eye-contact

Smile

Talk

Reciprocation/Encouragement

Repeated Interaction/Relating

Group setting

III. Commonality(Social  & Intellectual intimacy)

Observation; Mutual Service

Friendship (See TOYL Material on Friendship)

Fondness/Affection Brother-Sister Relationship

TOYL: Bad Relationships Objective: To get my needs for_________ met through another person.

IV. Compatibility

of Life Purpose and Goals   (Intellectual & Spiritual  intimacy)

Desire for a permanent relationship

Meeting families

Counsel

V. Creator’s will

VI. Confirmation

Parental Permission/Blessing (Courtship??)

VII. Communication(Spiritual & Emotional  intimacy)

Discussion of marriage

Proposal/Engagement (Betrothal??)

Wedding and Living plans

Doubts

VIII. Consummation(Physical intimacy)

Kiss???

1Thess 4:1 Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how you ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more. 3  For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: 4  That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; 5  Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: 6  That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. 7  For God has not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. 8  He therefore that despises, despises not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit. 9 But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write... 

Defraud: To take something from by fraud; Fraud: A deception deliberately practiced in order to secure unfair or unlawful gain.

4122 pleonekteo 4123; TDNT - 6:266,864; v  AV - make a gain 2, defraud 2, get an advantage 1; 5  

1) to have more;  2) to gain or take advantage of another, to overreach

1Cor 7: 1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman

See "What's in a kiss" and then determine when it is appropriate to express what to whom.