6  So the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it."

I. Our Habits & Values create Filters/Expectations, influencing our Perceptions & Emotions, determining Performance.

A. Anger: irritated, livid, resentful, furious, rage - outgrowth of hurt {build-up} (how you deal will result in closeness or distance)

Message: important rule or standard has been violated (clarify or compromise {personal stds}) Eph 4:31  Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Eph 4:26 do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,

B. Master anger or it will master you. Cain’s emotional response to the perception that his worth was undermined resulted from not doing well.

Anger Towards God: when the all-good, all-powerful, all-wise God doesn’t meet our earthly expectations on our timetable

Anger Towards Ourselves and Others: when our standards, preferences aren’t fulfilled (legitimate or unbiblical)

Boss who makes life difficult, disorganized, unfaithful, critical. Demanding, unappreciative; Co-workers, Subordinates

C. God allows our rights to be abused for good (eg Joseph): To benefit others by highlighting their needs; 

To benefit Himself by displaying His character through us, grace in sustaining and transforming us, ultimate justice in vindicating and rewarding

To benefit us by making us less dependent on temporalities (things, people, situations) and more dependent upon him, our All in all.

II. Consequences of Unresolved Anger:

Devil gets a foothold (Eph 4:26; Heb 12:15); Prayer hindered (1Tim 2:8); Specific judgment (loss of reward) from God (Eph 5:6; Col 3:6-8); Medical and Physical problems (esp Bitterness) (Ps 32:33; 38:3; Pr 12:4; 14:30; 17:22); Sociological alienation - Lack of Friends Pr 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man do not go. Lack of peace Pr 29:22 An angry man stirs up dissension, a hot-tempered one commits many sins. Lack of intimacy Pr 21:19  better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.. Pr 27:4 Anger is cruel...

III. Anger becomes sin:

when harbored in the dark (after the sun goes down); when expressed outside the Spirit's control (as observed by consequences such as disharmony, disunity, bitterness, grudges, desire for personal vengeance or punishment, depression, inability to pray, love, minister, etc.); when we blow up or clam up rather than 'fess up. Pr 12:16 A fool’s wrath is known at once, But a prudent man covers shame Pr 14:29 He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, But he who is impulsive exalts folly.

IV. Admit You're Angry and Analyze Why

Ps 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret—it only causes harm  Eph 4:31 ...put away... all anger

Pr 19:11  The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression.

Nostril Flaring Legitimate? Nose around your self-talk for the source  Jonah 4 "Do you do well to be ANGRY?"

                Selfish or Perfectionist standards or expectations; Suspicion and Projection; Unyielded Rights; Faulty Perspective

Grow as the irritation contributes to your beautification/beatification

                Go to God for power to manifest the Fruit of the Spirit Gal 5:22: unrequited love seeking to bless when cursed; joy independent of circumstances through choosing what’s best; peace in a hurricane by fixating on Him; patience in focusing on the beneficial outcome; kindness by mirroring God; goodness by transforming our values; faithfulness by loyally pursuing our purpose;  gentleness by recalling our frailty; self-control by using God’s grace to reprogram our robot to take righteous baby steps to godly goals.

                Relinquish Your Rights

                Ownership turned over to God

                Withhold Wrath - leave vengeance to the sovereignty of God   

Rm 12:19  Don't avenge yourselves, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord.

Express/Verbalize your Forgiveness and Feelings Wisely

Forgive: Yourself (1^st confess), Spouse, Parents, Children, Authorities and Others for not being perfect and God for being so.

Mt 18:21 Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? seven times?(cx forgiveness vs fellowship 1Jn 1)

Pr 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his feelings/anger, but a wise man holds them back/keeps himself under control.

Reconcile and Relinquish

Ro 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lies in you, live peaceably with all men.   Mt 5:44 But I say to you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you

Questions for Discussion/Reflection/Response:

1. Does God get angry? Why and when? Can you give some examples of legitimate and illegitimate human anger?

2. Where is sin on the continuum: disappointment, annoyance, irritation, frustration, fiddlesticks, #@*&!

3. Does a display of emotion make anger sin? Is a "cooling down" period necessary? Biblical?

4. Do legitimate causes allow, warrant, demand, justify, rationalize or excuse expressions of anger?

5. Is it "better" to clam up or blow up? How does "ventilating" differ from truth-speaking?