Big Apple Chapel is a New Testament based church in New York City, modeled after the pattern of the early church, with a strong emphasis on following Christ as a community of His disciples.

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BAC Sermons

Perception & Performance 6b: Forgiveness




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Perception/Performance 6b: Emotions D Forgiveness

Heb 12:15  Perception/Performance 6b: Emotions D Forgiveness ©'93 '04 '18 WF Cobb Truthbase.net DailyTruthbase.blog

III. Remove the Roots of Bitterness (unresolved anger)  through Submission and Realization

IV. Resolve the Fruits of Bitterness (poor relationships) through Forgiveness and Service Col 3:12-13

Unmet Expectations lead to hurt and lack of trust. Is expectation legit? Is it communicated? Is hurt intentional? Why did God allow it?

Other-centered compassion understands causes, needs, and motives of another. ABC's of Reparenting: Admit, Blame, Consider, Decide to Forgive

“Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, forswears recompense from or punishment of the offender, however legally or morally justified it might be, and with an increased ability to wish the offender well.   Forgiveness is different from condoning (failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness), excusing (not holding the offender as responsible for the action), forgetting (removing awareness of the offense from consciousness), pardoning (granted for an acknowledged offense by a representative of society, such as a judge), and reconciliation (restoration of a relationship).” - Am Psych Assoc 2006 on Wikipedia

A. We need to acknowledge/confess the hurt, pain and hate, if we don’t bring it to the light it will fester and grow in the dark

1 Jn 1:9  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

B. We need to forgive, agreeing to live with the painful consequences of another’s sin, which God’s grace can erase in time (Mt 18:35)

Mt 6:14 if you forgive men…your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 if you do not forgive…neither will your Father forgive… 

C. We need to invest in their life thru prayer, kindness, treasure  Mt 6:21 where your treasure is, there your heart will be also 

Rm 12:7  Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. 20 Therefore "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

D. We forgive as we've been forgiven to free ourselves from anger/bitterness and foster our relationships with God and man. 

Col 3:8 put off...12...elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness/benificence, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.

Mt 6:12 forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors.14 if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; 15 but if you do not forgive men...neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.  Lk 23:34 "Father, forgive them...
Lk 17:3
Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents (change mind/heart) forgive him. 7x 

Mt 3:8 bear fruits worthy of repentance,

Mt 18:7 woe to that man by whom the offense comes! 15  if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 17 if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.18 "Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven 2 1 "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"

27 master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. 30  'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'

34 And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. 35 "So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

V. Things that help us Forgive as Christ has Forgiven us  2Cor 2:11 (forgive)… lest Satan should take advantage of us

A. We’ve been forgiven much more for our rebellion and rejection of God. Our fellowship with God is dependent upon forgiving others.

B. No one’s perfect; people who damage others were hurt and damaged themselves, and will continue to be so until someone loves them

C. Abuse is inevitable; get used to it. Being hurt by others is a sure sign that we’re seeking worth from them rather than getting it from pleasing God.

D. We allow ourselves to be hurt by having unbiblical perceptions and responses; The hurt can help us transform into Christlikeness. (Rm 12)

E. Watch your thoughts and what you dwell on 2Cor 10:5b bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ Php 4:8

F. God uses the situation and person to shape and perfect and reward us, sometimes working out a better plan than we could imagine

Questions for Reflection/Discussion/Response:

1. What are some symptoms of bitterness? Why is it difficult to recognize? How does bitterness differ from anger? Which comes first?

2. What are some consequences of bitterness? Why would anyone chose such disaster? How does submission solve or prevent bitterness?

3. Why are some people easily offended? Why are some people easily offensive? What happens when opposites attract and marry?

4. Why is forgiveness sometimes difficult?  What makes it easier? Why would we have to forgive someone “490” times?

5. What steps could you take to “bitterproof” your soul? Whom do you need to forgive and for what? Where should you change your rules?

6. Does someone have to ask forgiveness? How do you forgive from the heart? Where do: Teach, Encourage, Reprove, Rebuke...fit in?