About

Big Apple Chapel is a New Testament based church in New York City, modeled after the pattern of the early church, with a strong emphasis on following Christ as a community of His disciples.

Services
  • Sunday - 10:30 am
  • 520 8th Ave, 16th floor
    New York, NY
  • phone: +1 (973) 837-1041
 

Sermons

BAC Sermons

Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage

2008-07-13

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What makes marriage work is when both partners work together at it. -bc

 

I. God’s Plan A: Gen 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Leave: social-legal commitment to leave one’s former life as an individual to become a new interdependent unit

Cleave: an emotional sharing/bonding like two pieces of paper glued together

One flesh: an intimacy that goes beyond the physical to reflect the faithfulness, love, wisdom, and unity of the Triune God

 

II. Man’s Plan B:  Dt 24:1 When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness/nakedness/shame in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house,

 

Malachi 2:11 Judah has dealt treacherously/faithlessly, and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem, For Judah has profaned The LORD’S holiness which He loves: he (Judah) has married the daughter of a foreign god. 12  May the LORD cut off from the tents of Jacob the man who does this, being awake and aware, yet who brings an offering to the LORD of hosts! 13 And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands.  14  Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously/faithlessly; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

15  “But the one {who is our father} did not do this, not as long as life remained in him. And what was he seeking? An offspring from God (NIV marg)” Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously/faithlessly with the wife of his youth. 16  "For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence," Says the LORD of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously/faithlessly."

 

III. God’s Plan B: 

Mt 19:3 (cf 5:31-32) The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to send away his wife for just any reason?" 4 And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5  "and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6  "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

 

Mt 19:7  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to send her away?" 8  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to send away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9  "And I say to you, whoever send away his wife, except for fornication/sexual immorality (not in Mk or Lk), and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is sent away commits adultery." (unfaithfulness during the betrothal period cf Mary/Joseph Mt 1:18-20 )

 

Mk 10:11  So He said to them, Whoever sends away his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. (cf Lk 16:18)

Rom 7:3 if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. Lev 20:10 the adulterer and the adulteress, shall surely be put to death. (Dt 22:22)

 

IV. God’s Plan C:

Ezr 10:3 Now therefore, let us make a covenant with our God to put away/divorce all these wives and those who have been born to them…

 

Dt 25:5 If brothers dwell together, and one of them dies and has no son, the widow of the dead man shall not be married to a stranger outside the family; her husband’s brother shall go in to her, take her as his wife, and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her. Cf  21:15

 

Jer 3:8  "Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also.

 

1Cor 7:10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to send away his wife. 12  But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe/is apistos, and she is willing to live with him, let him not send away her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not send away him. 14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15  But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16  For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?  39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40  But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment——and I think I also have the Spirit of God.

 

Questions for Reflection/Discussion/Response:

1. What constitutes marriage in God’s sight: Cohabitation? Common-law? Secular ceremony? Unequal yoke? Church service? Pre-nuptial?

2. What’s the point of a divorced person remaining single? What if the other spouse remarries and is there is no possibility of reconciliation?

3. Is a divorced and remarried person committing “perpetual adultery” and if so, can they repent and be accepted into church fellowship? 

4. What should be the attitude of Biblical Christians towards the 30-40% of married folks who get divorced? Is it the unpardonable sin?

5. If a single person can better focus on serving and pleasing God than a married one, why would anyone want to get married? Mt 19:10; 1Cor 7:25-35