Seeking counsel = humbly, transparently and proactively seeking input early in your decision-making process from someone who is able to provide us with carefully considered, objective and wise advice which is ultimately in our best interest
I. WHY SHOULD YOU SEEK COUNSEL?Victory. 11:14 in the abundance of counselors there is victory. 24:6 And in abundance of counselors there is victory. | Defeat. 11:14 Where there is no guidance, the people fall… | Wisdom. 13:10 But with those who receive counsel is wisdom. 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise. 19:20 Listen to counsel and accept discipline, That you may be wise the rest of your days. | Strife. 13:10 Through presumption [not seeking wisdom] comes nothing but strife. | Your plans will be drawn out. 20:5 A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it out. | Harm. 13:20 But the companion of fools will suffer harm. | Plans succeed. 15:22 But with many counselors they [plans] succeed. | Death. 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death. | | Plans are frustrated. 15:22 Without consultation, plans are frustrated, |
II. WHO SEEKS COUNSEL?Men of understanding. 1:5 And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel. | Not a scoffer. 15:12 A scoffer does not love one who reproves him, He will not go to the wise. | Wise men. 12:15 a wise man is he who listens to counsel. | Not a fool. 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes [See Bill's sermon on "the fool"] |
III. WHEN SHOULD YOU SEEK COUNSEL?When you are preparing plans or going to war. 20:18 Prepare plans by consultation, And make war by wise guidance. | | When facing a decision and not sure of God's will. [See Bill’s outline on God’s will.] | |
IV. WHO SHOULD YOU SEEK COUNSEL FROM?Abundance of counselors. 11:14 in the abundance of counselors there is victory. 15:22 But with many counselors they [plans] succeed. 24:6 And in abundance of counselors there is victory. | Not one who is quick to answer. 18:13 He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him. | Wise men. 1:5 And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel. 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise. 15:2 The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable. 15:7 The lips of the wise spread knowledge. 20:18 Prepare plans by consultation, And make war by wise guidance. 24:6 For by wise guidance you will wage war. 24:26 He kisses the lips Who gives a right answer. | Not fools. 13:20 But the companion of fools will suffer harm. 15:2 But the mouth of fools spouts folly. 15:7 But the hearts of fools are not so [don’t spread knowledge]. 17:24 But the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth. | Men of understanding. 14:33 Wisdom rests in the heart of one who has understanding, But in the bosom of fools it is made known. 17:24 Wisdom is in the presence of the one who has understanding, 20:5 A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it out. | Not the wicked. 15:28 But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. 16:29 A man of violence entices his neighbor, And leads him in a way that is not good. | Righteous men. 15:28 The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, | | One who exhibits love/willing to say tough stuff. 17:17 A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity. 28:23 He who rebukes a man will afterward find more favor Than he who flatters with the tongue. | | One who is likely to sharpen you. 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another. | |
V. HOW TO SEEK AND RECEIVE COUNSEL?Need to be active in acquiring. 1:5 And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel (to get, acquire, obtain). | Not naively. 14:15 The naive believes everything, | Need to listen/be receptive. 12:15 a wise man is he who listens to counsel. 13:10 But with those who receive counsel is wisdom. 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise. 19:20 Listen to counsel and accept discipline, That you may be wise the rest of your days. 22:17 Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, And apply your mind to my knowledge; | Not independently. 16:9 The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps. 16:25 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death. 18:1 He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom. 28:26 He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But he who walks wisely will be delivered.. | Fearing God and with humility. 15:33 The fear of the LORD is the instruction for wisdom, And before honor comes humility. | Not looking for mere confirmation of what you want to do. | Prudently. 14:15 But the prudent man considers his steps. | | With a teachable attitude (expecting correction, reproof, rebuke). 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death. 15:10 He who hates reproof will die. 19:20 Listen to counsel and accept discipline, That you may be wise the rest of your days. 27:5-7 Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. 6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. 7 A sated man loathes honey, But to a famished man any bitter thing is sweet. 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another. | | Gratefully. 24:26 He kisses the lips Who gives a right answer. 27:9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, So a man's counsel is sweet to his friend. | | Revealing all relevant information. Need to give the person as much relevant information as is necessary to get the full picture. | | Implement/take action. If the counsel you received is wise counsel, think seriously about taking steps to implement the advice. | |
Top ten things to think about when seeking counsel:
1. Start early in the process
2. Take full responsibility for the decision (go through the “will funnel”; map out pros/cons; come up with a preliminary answer of what you think the answer is); avoid the lazy man’s approach (“tell me what to do”)
3. Be proactive, humble, transparent, thankful, flexible
4. Seek counsel from the wise (don’t forum shop); people with a proven track record of wise decision and, if appropriate, expertise and experience
5. Give the person the full picture, while omitting all of the gory details
6. Hold it with an open hand, particularly if it’s something you really want; be prepared to hear something you don’t like
7. Don’t respond right away to the counsel; go away and think about it carefully and objectively
8. Be discerning
9. Be prepared to wait
10. If you think the counsel you received is consistent with God’s will for your life, act on it
QUESTIONS
1. Why are people sometimes hesitant to seek counsel from others?
2. What should we do if we hear something that we weren't expecting? What do you do when the advice you’re getting doesn’t sound right? What if you’ve sought counsel from an abundance of wise counselors and you get different answers?
3. Should we seek counsel from non-believers? If so, on what kinds of issues? Does the person we’re seeking counsel from have to be an expert on the topic I need counsel on (e.g., can a single person counsel me on parenting)? Does the person have to have gone through the same experience before? Should I be getting counsel from only believers who are more mature than me?
4. How do you decide when you should be seeking counsel? Only life-changing issues? Is any issue too small to seek counsel on?
5. Can you think of any examples of where you or someone you knew sought counsel and changed their actions? Any situations where you wish you had sought counsel but didn’t? Consequences? What can you do to improve your advice seeking skills? |
